December 2021 Reflections

It is crazy to think that 5 years ago this week I moved to Washington to come to seminary. In honor of that, I reread a prayer I wrote on the plane ride here. In my fear of all the uncertainty of what was to come and all that was on the line from me following what I believe God was calling me to do by moving here, I prayed: “Father, help me believe you are always trustworthy, always good, and always here, even when I don’t see. Give me the courage to rely on you to be what I need.”

When I look at these 5 years, all I can say is that I am in awe of God’s faithfulness. There have been a lot of hard moments when I wondered if I had made a huge mistake moving here–Seasons of loneliness and disappointment, fear about the unknown, health issues (Believe it or not, I have had 3 surgeries since being here!), and crazy, unexpected twists. But, there have been SO many amazing moments like meeting my best friend and starting a life with him, adopting my semi-feral cat Spike, graduating from seminary, finding an incredible place to work where I feel passionate about the work I do, and finding great church community this year. And, there have been so many beautiful, mundane moments of making a life here that I often forget, but are equally as valuable.

These past 5 years have been the epitome of the human experience: So much challenge and hardship, yet so much good and growth. And, I have faced the human question: Will I trust that God is really good? This is the question we all face… and it informs everything we do. It informs if we live in peace or in anxiety. It informs if we live a life of hurry and striving after accomplishment, or if we live a life of slowness and contentment. It informs if we stay in shame or if we welcome grace, if we forgive or remain bitter. When we trust in God’s goodness, we can look back at life and when we see all the hardship we faced, we remember the ways God was gracious. And, when we see all the good, we remember all the ways God loved us, even when we didn’t deserve it.

That is where I am today. 5 years ago, I never knew that God would be so gracious and so loving, but today I am so grateful that is who He is.

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